First ghosting now body shaming, it seems my blog is really tackling some joyful subjects! On the ghosting note thank you SO much for all the wicked engagement with the post, I was overwhelmed by how many of you reached out to talk about it with me!
Ok, so I felt inspired to discuss this matter after listening to quite a few podcasts discussing it recently. It made me think about my own experiences of body shaming and how it had affected me.
Bit of a background on myself with this, as it is a topic really personal to me and I have written and deleted this post SO many times. Anyway, at the ripe old age of 12 I discovered a deep love of eating not even food but eating, I LOVED it and ate ALOT. I became very chubby, often I would be called ‘fat’ by the mean girls. I began to see that as my identity, a part of me. I did not take it like some amazing people do, I did not own it. Everytime it was said to me I wanted to crawl into a ball and just disappear, everytime I felt absolutely disgusted by myself – not the people saying it (who now I see are the disgusting ones) but no, I saw me as the gross one. I was called fat even when I was not that fat! But that happened from 12 until 22. I know it was this amount of time because I used to remember it was always said at least once every. single. year. Everytime I would feel happy or confident, my mind would take me back to ‘you’re fat’ and the confidence would drain out of me. Deep stuff.
Now I turned to my Bff in these times (food obvs – cheese and bean pasties to be particular) so naturally then it became a vicious cycle. I also entered an extremely manipulative relationship and I ended up putting 3 stone on and the fat shaming came in thick and fast from strangers all around. The key there being strangers, these people never knew me. I remember so vividly once my pal trying to wingman me and the boy turning around WHILE I AM THERE and going ‘nah she’s fat’. I remember thinking…how can someone be so cruel?
These comments left such an imprint on me, I remember everywhere I went I thought people were staring, judging my weight, it made my confidence so low. It took such a toll on my mental health. Now, I still think about those comments but I do not view them as a part of my identity anymore but more as motivation to not let myself slip into the trap of believing them.
I ended up losing 3 stone after my break up and felt healthy and happy for the first time in a while. It was a monumental time for me because for the ages 23 and 24 I was not called FAT! Amazing. 11/10, an award goes out to all the dickheads that body shame…not. But for me this was HUGE I finally felt ‘normal’ how mad is that.
Ironically on my 25th bday I was drunk in Cornwall eating a subway living my best life and BAM a random man on a wall yells out to a taxi ‘DON’T RUN OVER THE FATTY’. What a caring man trying to save me from a taxi, shame he mispronounced ‘fitty as fatty’. Jokes aside, my world came crashing down (soz to be dramatic it’s that degree creeping in again) I threw my (delicious) vegan sub to the floor in upset thinking don’t need this food then obv I am back to fat L. Which obv is not the case, I have worked hard to feel good in my skin, I am not there yet but I am able to brush those comments off easier now.
Now lyf story over, thanks for sitting through that.
Get ready for sassy L again ppl…
The moral of this whole post. Body shaming is NOT ok, anyone affected by this knows how detrimental it can be to somebody’s confidence, mental health and well being. It is a disgusting thing, absolutely inexcusable. What gives somebody the right to comment ANYTHING negative about somebody elses looks? It is the lowest of the low. It also says so much more about that person than it does about us. People like that are just wrong ‘uns and what gives me piece of mind is that karma is a bitch, if you are (sassy, pouty click of the fingers with a uhhhuuuuhhhh). People need to understand that these off the cuff comments about peoples bodies stay with them for years. I still lay there at night sometimes replaying comments, believing those comments. It is so sad and I really don’t think people understand the severity of the subject. Body shaming can cause so many health issues. It is vile and never ever ok. We live in a social media world where people do it constantly. We live in a world where people want to constantly change their bodies with filters or surgery because somebody has shamed them for being who they are. Often people see body shaming as people being fat shamed but that is just not the case. People are body shamed for being too thin, fat, tall, small, the list is actually endless.
So here is my message to all those who have been body shamed:
Do not let those idiots bring you down or dull your sparkle. Those peoples comments mean nothing. They will mean everything for a while but that will soon fade and what once knocked you down will empower you. Your body is yours, do what you bloody like with it, if you want to eat 5 bean and cheese pasties because its a Monday DO IT! (Talking from personal experience though 5 might tip you over the edge and make you a feel a lil ill). Anyway back to the empowering stuff; Be proud of who you are, you are you and that is something to be proud of. Bellends will always be there to try and knock you down but shrug their comments off with pride (they hate that!) and carry on with your day. Your body is amazing and is with you through all the good and bad times, appreciate that bod of yours! Quite simply guys: You are unique. You are beautiful. And most importantly You are You. Rock it, slayyyyyy sistaaaa/bruvvvaaaa.
I also am not claiming to be a guru here and deffo need to read that paragraph at times when I think about body shaming comments but the fact is we are all here fighting the body shamers as ledge heads together.
You have got this, I promise.