Ahhhh here I am the night before my 25th birthday. I am currently looking down at my bitten down nails (kind of annoyed as I had been growing them out but anyway I am setting a scene) thinking that habit needs to stop. I cannot help be filled with a little dread and anxiety at officially being ‘mid-twenties’. This now means my 5 year plan takes me to 30?!?!!!

Quarter-Life Crisis (def): a crisis that may be experienced in one’s twenties, involving anxiety over the direction and quality of one’s life

I am someone who since I was about 4 has had my life planned out, like every inch of it. Maybe thats why I am still single, my future husband aka that handsome stickman with spiky hair and a flame shirt I drew when I was 9 just does not seem realistic… We all know life never goes to plan though and my plans have often changed but have always followed roughly the same sort of story line (I am an ex drama student it is all about the drama).

For the first time in my life I have no idea what I want to do next. I am someone that constantly seeks change and excitement and adventure. So I feel like I have to cram all that into the next 5 years.

Christmas 2017 changed my plans a little when I volunteered in a nursing home and I met a man, he was 91 years old and he sat and told me his whole life story and I loved it. He had the most amazing stories from such an amazing life and it triggered something in me to make sure my story was as good! Boxing day I booked a solo trip to Bali for a month to volunteer in a school and work with the rehabilitation of turtles. (Summer of a lifetime btw.)

It gave me the travelling bug for sure but I do feel I would like to travel more when I am little older as my career is a focus at the moment.

But anyway in this time I have spent the evening reflecting on the past 25 years and if little L would be proud of L now. If I am honest I think she would, maybe not some decisions but most yes! I live a good life and am surrounded by the most amazing people. I work hard in a good job and have an amazing social life.

Not only that but in the past 4 years I have fought my way out of a deep depression hole, lost 3 and a half stone, became more confident, secured a wicked job, have made amazing memories and have been unapologetically myself.

Do I still think I am ‘finding myself’? Yes a little sometimes a lot but as time goes on I am really proud of the woman I am becoming. 25 is a scary age but one where I feel a new chapter of life is about to begin.

I also love odd numbers so prefer to be an odd number age – don’t know why.

Reflective ramble over – Happy Bday 2 me xox

L x