Urm so apparently I am an adult now, I mean I have been for a few years, but still? What does ‘adulting’ really mean? I am the age of an adult, but am I really one?! Don’t worry, this whole post is not going to be me just having a breakdown and asking lot’s of questions about life. Although there might be some of that thrown in for good measure.
I know certainly for me and my friends, who are all now mid/late twenties, we are all a bit confused about where exactly we should be as ‘adults’. It is a massive topic of conversation among 20 somethings, and rightfully so, these are important years for us all. Panic mode sets in and we all start comparing ourselves to anyone and everyone of a similar age.
Generations in the past would have 3 kids, a house and a husband/wife by 25. Whereas I am here at 25; no house, no kids, no husband. All I seem to own is a wicked skincare routine and a smashing wardrobe of clothes and shoes. Generation norms change all the time, for us 20 somethings it is perfectly normal to have none of those things and still be out enjoying life to the fullest. Phew.
So this brings me onto the big Q – What is an adult? How do you become an adult? Like my friend defrosted her freezer successfully the other day…is she now a fully fledged adult??? I didn’t get ID’d the other day (which broke my heart), is that because I am just exuding adult vibez? Or are my forehead wrinkles giving the game away?
I took to the age old tool of Google Definitions to answer my question:
Adult (noun): a person who is fully grown or developed.
Okay wicked, I am both fully grown and developed so am deffo an adult. But what about adulting, what is that???
Adulting (verb): the practice of behaving in a way characteristic of a responsible adult, especially the accomplishment of mundane but necessary tasks.
Cool, so my pal defrosting her freezer is deffo adulting. She will be really glad to hear that. I do mundane tasks loads, only yesterday I hoovered the house – pow adulting.
The point of this post is not to show you how to use google to find out word definitions, but to show that being an adult is a very broad + a bit of a boring term. The important thing though is, us 20 somethings are adults and we are all adulting and living our lives in our own way. We are all different people, we all have our own timelines, we all have different desires in life. So naturally, our paths are going to be very different. Kelly from Uni owns her own house now, Toby from School now has two children, Maisy, friend of the fam, has started uni at 24, Mark has just come back from travelling and is now a bit lost on what to do next. All very different situations, none are failing at life because they don’t have what the others have.
I used to be OBSESSED with my age and felt like I had to accomplish so much each year. But actually I am far more relaxed now and am happy going at my own pace and I realise I don’t want the same things my friends want, so it is okay that my journey is different.
Don’t get me wrong, I still have days where I am like oh ma gaaaaaaad I am nearly 26, I need a house, husband and dog – help me plz, but I have a coffee and all is well again and realise I don’t want any of that anytime soon (except the dog).
The house thing is actually a big one while I am here, for ages I was panicking about needing to get money together to buy a house because all my pals and their partners were saving for that. I didn’t actually want to buy a house yet as I wanted to rent in London for a while, but I suddenly ignored what I wanted and felt these unnecessary pressures from myself. I was always thinking well I am the same age so I should be growing up and wanting the same things, I questioned myself a lot on why I did not want the same stuff, eventually I realised that I was happy for my pals and the next stage of their lives but I was not there yet and that’s when I started to realise we all just have our own paths, I felt at peace with that.
We live in a society where it is normal to compare and criticise. But please don’t be hard on yourself. Enjoy these years, do things at your own pace, be happy for others achievements, don’t let it stress you out. You are still 20 something, there are so many years ahead for us to achieve what we want at our own pace.
What is something you are proud of yourself for?