Tag: reallife

Help! Apparently I am an adult?!

Help! Apparently I am an adult?!

by L ♥ 19 Comments

Urm so apparently I am an adult now, I mean I have been for a few years, but still? What does ‘adulting’ really mean? I am the age of an adult, but am I really one?! Don’t worry, this whole post is not going to be me just having a breakdown and asking lot’s of questions about life. Although there might be some of that thrown in for good measure.

I know certainly for me and my friends, who are all now mid/late twenties, we are all a bit confused about where exactly we should be as ‘adults’. It is a massive topic of conversation among 20 somethings, and rightfully so, these are important years for us all. Panic mode sets in and we all start comparing ourselves to anyone and everyone of a similar age.

Generations in the past would have 3 kids, a house and a husband/wife by 25. Whereas I am here at 25; no house, no kids, no husband. All I seem to own is a wicked skincare routine and a smashing wardrobe of clothes and shoes. Generation norms change all the time, for us 20 somethings it is perfectly normal to have none of those things and still be out enjoying life to the fullest. Phew.

So this brings me onto the big Q – What is an adult? How do you become an adult? Like my friend defrosted her freezer successfully the other day…is she now a fully fledged adult??? I didn’t get ID’d the other day (which broke my heart), is that because I am just exuding adult vibez? Or are my forehead wrinkles giving the game away?

I took to the age old tool of Google Definitions to answer my question:

Adult (noun): a person who is fully grown or developed.

Okay wicked, I am both fully grown and developed so am deffo an adult. But what about adulting, what is that???

Adulting (verb): the practice of behaving in a way characteristic of a responsible adult, especially the accomplishment of mundane but necessary tasks.

Cool, so my pal defrosting her freezer is deffo adulting. She will be really glad to hear that. I do mundane tasks loads, only yesterday I hoovered the house – pow adulting.

The point of this post is not to show you how to use google to find out word definitions, but to show that being an adult is a very broad + a bit of a boring term. The important thing though is, us 20 somethings are adults and we are all adulting and living our lives in our own way. We are all different people, we all have our own timelines, we all have different desires in life. So naturally, our paths are going to be very different. Kelly from Uni owns her own house now, Toby from School now has two children, Maisy, friend of the fam, has started uni at 24, Mark has just come back from travelling and is now a bit lost on what to do next. All very different situations, none are failing at life because they don’t have what the others have.

I used to be OBSESSED with my age and felt like I had to accomplish so much each year. But actually I am far more relaxed now and am happy going at my own pace and I realise I don’t want the same things my friends want, so it is okay that my journey is different.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have days where I am like oh ma gaaaaaaad I am nearly 26, I need a house, husband and dog – help me plz, but I have a coffee and all is well again and realise I don’t want any of that anytime soon (except the dog).

The house thing is actually a big one while I am here, for ages I was panicking about needing to get money together to buy a house because all my pals and their partners were saving for that. I didn’t actually want to buy a house yet as I wanted to rent in London for a while, but I suddenly ignored what I wanted and felt these unnecessary pressures from myself. I was always thinking well I am the same age so I should be growing up and wanting the same things, I questioned myself a lot on why I did not want the same stuff, eventually I realised that I was happy for my pals and the next stage of their lives but I was not there yet and that’s when I started to realise we all just have our own paths, I felt at peace with that.

We live in a society where it is normal to compare and criticise. But please don’t be hard on yourself. Enjoy these years, do things at your own pace, be happy for others achievements, don’t let it stress you out. You are still 20 something, there are so many years ahead for us to achieve what we want at our own pace.

What is something you are proud of yourself for?

L x

Being ghosted

Being ghosted

by L ♥ 27 Comments

Ahhh delightful subject. I never really was a fan of Casper the friendly ghost and I am not too keen on (insert name of choice) the unfriendly ghoster either. Now this is not specific to being a twenty something year old. We have all experienced being ghosted at some stage of our lives. If you haven’t then tell me your secret plz.

Ghosting (def): the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.

Ok, so I am not sure when ghosting became a ‘thing’ but it seems to happen more and more now days. Perhaps because it is so easy to do with all these dating apps and social media. You can quite simply just disappear now with no explanation.

I think ghosting can only be considered ghosting if you have met the person, or have/had a bond with said person. Someone not replying to your witty tinder one liner does not quite count as ghosting. Even if it is a dent to the comedian inside of your ego.

It is one of the worst feelings, I have been ghosted a few times and it hurts in a different kind of way. It leaves you questioning EVERYTHING. Asking yourself so many questions. Why did they do that? Was it something I did? Was I just not good enough? Did I mean that little to them? So many things fly through your mind. I want to touch upon the ‘did I mean that little to them’ one. As this is one that I always think about. To not even be given an explanation as to why they want to stop talking or end things is so belittling. It makes you think omg why have I put so much energy into this person, who cannot even be bothered to let me know things are done and tell me why.

But heres the reality and here is a pre warning: I am about to get a lil sassy...

These ‘ghosts’ are just cowards, they do not have the courage to give a simple explanation as to why they want to call things off. They decide that it is far easier to just disappear, not even giving second thought to your feelings. Extremely cowardly and selfish behaviour. Let’s be real, would we want someone with those traits in our lives anyway? HELL NO!

Enough about them and more about us. We must accept that it happened, we live and we learn (then write a blog post about it). It is easy to sit and think ‘what did I do wrong’ but let’s get real. It is nothing to do with us and all to do with the other person (unless of course you ran their dog over or something then I guess you kinda deserve the ghosting). But the key here is to just think it is a lucky escape and you will find someone SO much better than that. You are a sassy, strong person who has no time for this kind of stuff.

Sometimes we have to just give ourselves closure when the other person fails to do so. It is tough but it happens, take some time to yourself and just remember YOU are worth more and it was probably nothing you did. Best thing to do is just avoid avidly insta stalking, delete all messsages from them and good god if they slither back into your DM’s then IGNORE. (Unless of course they have a fab excuse for ghosting.)

Fab excuses:

  • They were busy ending world hunger
  • They were clearing ALL the plastic from the ocean
  • They were out feeding all the stray dogs and cats
  • They were lost on a desert island with no phone (still could send a message in a bottle though)

Yano something along those lines…

Better people are coming, be patient my friends.

L x

The pressures of social media

The pressures of social media

by L ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

So being a twenty something I thought ahhh my care for social media will pass in due course. Long story short – it. did. not. I feel like I am more obsessed with social media than I ever have been before. I thought Bebo would be the height of social media then instagram came along…

I will set the scene for you – walk into a beautifully designed London floral cafe, you look around and see everyone posing, snapping pics of themselves or the surroundings. You can’t even judge them because you know you are about to whack huji out to get that perfect ‘candid’ shot of you laughing of to one side having the ‘best time ever’. When in reality you are out of breath from sucking in so hard, your face hurts from the fake smile and you feel a little embarrassed about any onlookers witnessing the ‘behind the scenes’ of your gram.

It is a fikkle game social media, it gives you a weird high when you get a load of likes and weird low when your photo bombs. Like why do we still care about this online acceptance of our lives? I hate that we care so much – that I care so much, it can become quite draining.

I feel for twenty something year olds instagram can be really disheartening, as we are seeing people our age or younger getting beautiful houses, getting engaged, going on amazing holidays, sharing their INSANE bodies and just in general showing off how great life is. We are at an age of uncertainty of where we are going in life, a false sense of security a lot of the time and when we log into our gram we see other twenty somethings who seem to have their lives in order.

I am guilty as sin for caring too much about my social media presence. One of my first thoughts when I have an event is hmm what am I going to wear, can’t wear something I have already worn on the gram. How mad is that?! Like c’mon L get a grip. I feel so much pressure if I am in a cool place to get a picture of myself looking like a #model. And if I do not get the shot I actually feel so rubbish about it. Again WTF? When did I allow my life to revolve around an app.

I know friends who have deleted the gram for a few weeks to help their mental health or self esteem. How crazy that we are having to delete something to help our own mental health because the pressure of an app is too much. It makes me very sad and so, so sad to think those in generations after us will have this take over their lives from such a young age. At least we all had our childhoods of playing out these children now days do not have that, they are eaten up by the pressures to look good and have nice things all the time.

It is a mad world we live in. But what is important is to remember that social media is not real life. People don’t post those photos of them laying on the sofa, ice cream around their mouth, mascara running because they had a break up or argument with their perfect insta husband. Maybe that’s what the gram needs, a bit more honesty? I can be the first to say I probz would not be uploading any ugly pics anytime soon. Vicky Pattison is great for keeping it real on the gram, love her hungover pics!

But anyway moral of the blog, people only post the life they want you to see. Those down days, those ugly breaking out days, those I haven’t got dressed and smell today pics happen in real life they just arn’t shown. Try to not compare yourself too much and try to remember life is there to be enjoyed, not instagrammed. I also am not claiming to be a guru here and I myself need to follow those morals also so yano this is a pep talk for us all.

Also, I do love instagram and seeing pictures of everybody’s lives, it is a great way to keep in contact with people also. I just wish I/we did not feel the pressures so much. Obv I know other platforms of social media are tough too but I feel instagram is the one that gets people the most.

Have a lovely week all!

L x