The Power of Being Single

The Power of Being Single

People (myself included sometimes) put such a negative spin on being single. Just feels like the ‘done’ thing doesn’t it?

It is rare that I see people discuss the power of being single. Because in all honesty staying single, not settling for anyone not worth my time nor effort has had a wickedly powerful impact on me, and my life.

I have found mad love and respect for myself in my years single. As discussed in a blog post before (Being single in your twenties) I didn’t have a good past relationship. I came away broken, hating that I let a person have that effect on me, but that happens sometimes. It is all part of the process we call life.

I needed time to heal. Alone. I needed time to deal with it all, to fully piece myself back together. I sort of resembled one of those mad 1000 piece jigsaws your Gran has, that takes an absolute AGE to sort.

I spent a solid 2 years working really hard to be who I was before the relationship. In that time I realised that I didn’t need to be that person anymore. This was my opportunity to become a new version of myself, a better, stronger one. Once I unlocked this gem, that is when the power happened, and my god it felt good.

There is SO much power to being on your own and embracing it! I have done so many amazing things on my own and loved it! I have taken myself on holiday, moved to a new city alone, started my career. Even right now I am sat on my own in a coffee shop writing this, years ago sitting in a coffee shop alone would have been my idea of hell. Now I really love sitting on my own, drinking coffee and watching the world go by. (Disclaimer I wrote this on paper before typing it up – pre covid obv.)

Perks of single life:

  • I look after myself and control my own emotions
  • Just have to think of me
  • My career can come first
  • I can enjoy all my passions and not worry about it taking up time that should be spent with another
  • Can not shave my legs for like 3 weeks
  • Flirting (I mean I am bad at it, but drunk I really like to pretend i’m good at it)
  • So many activities and adventures with your mates
  • I do not have to share a bed when it is the deep depths of hellish warm weather (also known as summer)
  • I can have first/only choice of what Netlix series to binge on
  • And many moreeeeeeeee things

Now don’t get me wrong I am very aware you can do all those when in a relationship too but this, this post is for the strong, powerful singletons, so take it with a pinch of salt.

I really hate it when people play the ‘ahhh how are you still single?!’ card. Like yes I know they are being nice and all that but to me that question feels more like a ‘how come you have not found anyone yet’. I also feel people are shocked/don’t believe you when you say you are single by choice. Why is that such a shocking thing? Why is it surprising for someone to want to just date themselves for a while?

Dolly Alderton wrote in her book ‘Everything I know About Love‘ something that spoke to me A LOT:
‘I don’t need any words or looks or comments from a man to believe I’m visible; to believe I’m here. (…) That’s not where I come alive. Because I am enough. My heart is enough. The stories and the sentences twisting around my mind are enough.’

The minute you realise you are enough, is a massively monumental moment, one that will change your perspective on things in every aspect of your life. For the better.

Final thoughts from me:

There is a real power and joy to being single in these really poignant years. Accept it, embrace it and enjoy it! These years are made for mess, play, failure. And when you do leave the single market make sure you look back and know you made the most of those years and are the best version of yourself and ready to share life with another without losing yourself.

What is your favourite thing about being single?

L x

Advertisement

21 thoughts on “The Power of Being Single

  1. I am loving being able to pick out Lingerie for myself and know that I’m the one enjoying it. There’s not a sense of “having to impress” because I’m only impressing myself 🙌🏻❤️

    Like

  2. I love the freedom (not saying I was trapped while in a relationship) but I only answer to myself generally and can chop and change my mind and come and go as I please. It’s nice x

    Like

  3. Great post. I was 23 before I got into a relationship. I was happy doing my own thing until I finally met someone I really wanted to be with. Even then we took it slowly…12 years and 2 kids later we are still going strong 😊

    Adam – http://daddoesautism.com

    Like

  4. That’s awesome how you are super comfortable being single. When I was finally comfortable being single I actually met my now husband but I didn’t have to change for him so that’s when you know your in the right relationship for you. Be in a relationship where you can be you and they love you for it. I can relate to your paragraph on the “how are you still single” question. I am constantly getting the “when will you have kids” question. Lol not quite the same but probably similar feelings.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahhh, that is always the way isn’t it haha! That is amazing though, that made my heart full. Oh god, yeah that is the next big q on everyones lips – v annoying I imagine! I guess all through life there is a next big q to be asked about the next stages of others lives !

      Thanks for reading and commenting xx

      Like

    1. hahaha yes – although I still manage to spend a stupid amount on ‘treating myself’ ahha!

      Ahh glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for reading xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I really enjoyed reading this one. I’m glad that you have no shame in being single (not like there’s any need to be) Independence is bliss, be free to be your own person! x

    Like

  6. Great post, I know how important it is to learn to love yourself. And it makes me happy that you have found being single to be empowering and given yourself the time to heal and enjoy your own company. I have been in a relationship for almost 6 years now, but I do miss having a bed to myself for sure haha.

    Chloe xx
    http://www.chloechats.com

    Like

  7. Thank you for your wise words! I totally agree. 🙂 I’ve been single for a long time and I can commiserate with what you’re saying.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s