Tag: Twentysomething

Help! Apparently I am an adult?!

Help! Apparently I am an adult?!

by L ♥ 19 Comments

Urm so apparently I am an adult now, I mean I have been for a few years, but still? What does ‘adulting’ really mean? I am the age of an adult, but am I really one?! Don’t worry, this whole post is not going to be me just having a breakdown and asking lot’s of questions about life. Although there might be some of that thrown in for good measure.

I know certainly for me and my friends, who are all now mid/late twenties, we are all a bit confused about where exactly we should be as ‘adults’. It is a massive topic of conversation among 20 somethings, and rightfully so, these are important years for us all. Panic mode sets in and we all start comparing ourselves to anyone and everyone of a similar age.

Generations in the past would have 3 kids, a house and a husband/wife by 25. Whereas I am here at 25; no house, no kids, no husband. All I seem to own is a wicked skincare routine and a smashing wardrobe of clothes and shoes. Generation norms change all the time, for us 20 somethings it is perfectly normal to have none of those things and still be out enjoying life to the fullest. Phew.

So this brings me onto the big Q – What is an adult? How do you become an adult? Like my friend defrosted her freezer successfully the other day…is she now a fully fledged adult??? I didn’t get ID’d the other day (which broke my heart), is that because I am just exuding adult vibez? Or are my forehead wrinkles giving the game away?

I took to the age old tool of Google Definitions to answer my question:

Adult (noun): a person who is fully grown or developed.

Okay wicked, I am both fully grown and developed so am deffo an adult. But what about adulting, what is that???

Adulting (verb): the practice of behaving in a way characteristic of a responsible adult, especially the accomplishment of mundane but necessary tasks.

Cool, so my pal defrosting her freezer is deffo adulting. She will be really glad to hear that. I do mundane tasks loads, only yesterday I hoovered the house – pow adulting.

The point of this post is not to show you how to use google to find out word definitions, but to show that being an adult is a very broad + a bit of a boring term. The important thing though is, us 20 somethings are adults and we are all adulting and living our lives in our own way. We are all different people, we all have our own timelines, we all have different desires in life. So naturally, our paths are going to be very different. Kelly from Uni owns her own house now, Toby from School now has two children, Maisy, friend of the fam, has started uni at 24, Mark has just come back from travelling and is now a bit lost on what to do next. All very different situations, none are failing at life because they don’t have what the others have.

I used to be OBSESSED with my age and felt like I had to accomplish so much each year. But actually I am far more relaxed now and am happy going at my own pace and I realise I don’t want the same things my friends want, so it is okay that my journey is different.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have days where I am like oh ma gaaaaaaad I am nearly 26, I need a house, husband and dog – help me plz, but I have a coffee and all is well again and realise I don’t want any of that anytime soon (except the dog).

The house thing is actually a big one while I am here, for ages I was panicking about needing to get money together to buy a house because all my pals and their partners were saving for that. I didn’t actually want to buy a house yet as I wanted to rent in London for a while, but I suddenly ignored what I wanted and felt these unnecessary pressures from myself. I was always thinking well I am the same age so I should be growing up and wanting the same things, I questioned myself a lot on why I did not want the same stuff, eventually I realised that I was happy for my pals and the next stage of their lives but I was not there yet and that’s when I started to realise we all just have our own paths, I felt at peace with that.

We live in a society where it is normal to compare and criticise. But please don’t be hard on yourself. Enjoy these years, do things at your own pace, be happy for others achievements, don’t let it stress you out. You are still 20 something, there are so many years ahead for us to achieve what we want at our own pace.

What is something you are proud of yourself for?

L x

The Power of Being Single

The Power of Being Single

by L ♥ 21 Comments

People (myself included sometimes) put such a negative spin on being single. Just feels like the ‘done’ thing doesn’t it?

It is rare that I see people discuss the power of being single. Because in all honesty staying single, not settling for anyone not worth my time nor effort has had a wickedly powerful impact on me, and my life.

I have found mad love and respect for myself in my years single. As discussed in a blog post before (Being single in your twenties) I didn’t have a good past relationship. I came away broken, hating that I let a person have that effect on me, but that happens sometimes. It is all part of the process we call life.

I needed time to heal. Alone. I needed time to deal with it all, to fully piece myself back together. I sort of resembled one of those mad 1000 piece jigsaws your Gran has, that takes an absolute AGE to sort.

I spent a solid 2 years working really hard to be who I was before the relationship. In that time I realised that I didn’t need to be that person anymore. This was my opportunity to become a new version of myself, a better, stronger one. Once I unlocked this gem, that is when the power happened, and my god it felt good.

There is SO much power to being on your own and embracing it! I have done so many amazing things on my own and loved it! I have taken myself on holiday, moved to a new city alone, started my career. Even right now I am sat on my own in a coffee shop writing this, years ago sitting in a coffee shop alone would have been my idea of hell. Now I really love sitting on my own, drinking coffee and watching the world go by. (Disclaimer I wrote this on paper before typing it up – pre covid obv.)

Perks of single life:

  • I look after myself and control my own emotions
  • Just have to think of me
  • My career can come first
  • I can enjoy all my passions and not worry about it taking up time that should be spent with another
  • Can not shave my legs for like 3 weeks
  • Flirting (I mean I am bad at it, but drunk I really like to pretend i’m good at it)
  • So many activities and adventures with your mates
  • I do not have to share a bed when it is the deep depths of hellish warm weather (also known as summer)
  • I can have first/only choice of what Netlix series to binge on
  • And many moreeeeeeeee things

Now don’t get me wrong I am very aware you can do all those when in a relationship too but this, this post is for the strong, powerful singletons, so take it with a pinch of salt.

I really hate it when people play the ‘ahhh how are you still single?!’ card. Like yes I know they are being nice and all that but to me that question feels more like a ‘how come you have not found anyone yet’. I also feel people are shocked/don’t believe you when you say you are single by choice. Why is that such a shocking thing? Why is it surprising for someone to want to just date themselves for a while?

Dolly Alderton wrote in her book ‘Everything I know About Love‘ something that spoke to me A LOT:
‘I don’t need any words or looks or comments from a man to believe I’m visible; to believe I’m here. (…) That’s not where I come alive. Because I am enough. My heart is enough. The stories and the sentences twisting around my mind are enough.’

The minute you realise you are enough, is a massively monumental moment, one that will change your perspective on things in every aspect of your life. For the better.

Final thoughts from me:

There is a real power and joy to being single in these really poignant years. Accept it, embrace it and enjoy it! These years are made for mess, play, failure. And when you do leave the single market make sure you look back and know you made the most of those years and are the best version of yourself and ready to share life with another without losing yourself.

What is your favourite thing about being single?

L x

A letter to my 21 year old self

A letter to my 21 year old self

by L ♥ 7 Comments

Ok, so this one has taken me a little while to think of what I would say to 21 year old me; other than it will be ok. BUT alas I have thought of some things, otherwise this would have been a very short and boring post.

Just a little context to where I was in my life at 21: I was in my final year of university; I was worried about my next steps; I was not in a great space mental health wise; I was in a relationship.

1. Finishing uni
First thing I would say is, that yes finishing uni was super sad, super scary and a really anxious time. However, the friends made will stay with you forever and will continue to be such amazing friends, that will be there every step of the way. Ledge heads the lot of them. Yes, you will lose contact with a few but it’s ok because the main ones are still there and you will continue to get messy with them very regularly. Not only that, the feeling of achievement after finishing is amazing. Also, don’t worry, things post uni will all fall into place. Oh and also your liver is like mega grateful that you are no longer drinking 2 pound bottles of wine 4/5 times a week.

2. Image
This was a big one for me back then and still is but not as much. A message to 21 year old me would be ‘stop worrying SO much, people don’t actually care as much as you think’. I was obsessed with my image and more to the point I was obsessed with my own self loathing of my image. I would tell myself to be kinder to me, I really needed to accept and love myself more. The thing I now realise is that if you self loathe and do nothing about it then you are in a horribly viscous cycle. I would tell myself to use my gym membership that I had and used perhaps once a month (lol) and go and get fit and healthy for my own sake. God knows the gym is my happy place now (after I have had a lil strop about not waking up looking like a Victoria’s Secret Model EVEN THOUGH I worked out for 1 hour). I would love to give 21 year old me a hug and say u r well wikid, do not base who you are by how you see yourself in the mirror.

3. Love
My biggest message here would be ‘love yourself enough to respect yourself’. I was in an extremely toxic relationship where I was really manipulated and all areas of my life suffered. It all ended in a horrible way and my biggest regret from the whole thing is that, even though I knew I was not being treated right, I did not respect myself enough to walk away. I believed if I did I would never find anybody again and be alone forever. But I needed to love myself and understand that actually, that was enough. I have spent 4 years on my own to fully heal from that relationship and am so glad I did. I feel now I am in a place where I like myself, I respect myself and I look after myself physically and mentally. Now, life is not solely about having a boyfriend, it is about enjoying life with my family and friends and most importantly myself. I wish nothing more than to tell 21 year old me that that would happen one day.

4. Mental health
Times were really hard at this age, it was my hardest time in terms of mental health. I suffered with depression and anxiety quite badly. I would go back and tell myself ‘you got this gal, you can do this, things all work out and you have the power and strength to not only get out of this hole but to do a complete 180 on it all and become a super positive, growth mindset gal. What a bloody (modest) ledge you will be, just keep going and make those changes day by day and be kind to yourself. Time genuinely is the best healer. Oh and also, you are a good person and as life goes on you will realise that.’

5. Other
Just like random things I would say are: ‘enjoy every moment, appreciate those around you, appreciate yourself, learn from mistakes, respect yo’self, go after your dreams, always trust your gut, do not be scared to do things alone, try everything (within context obv).’

And no sorry to ruin your day 21 year old me, but you are still not married to Leonardo DiCaprio…yet.

Oh and something massive I would tell myself; is to not base my timeline on others! Everyone goes at their own pace and life happens on diff timelines for everyone. So don’t stress about that. Sometimes in your twenties everything starts to feel like a ticking timebomb to achieve everything you have ever wanted. But yano, I have heard 30 something year olds still have a life too?! Who would have thought it?!

My twenties so far have been a mad rollercoaster ride and I am so grateful for all I have learnt in those years and how much stronger, independent and passionate about life I have become. I look forward to the many more lessons and experiences I will be sure to learn in the next 5 years of my twenties.

Got a bit deep there, 21 year old me would probs be like ‘jeeez 25 year old me is a bit preachy but would be gr8 for a drunk deep and meaningful’. It is true I am fab for a DMC… Anyway, what would you tell your 21 year old self?

L x

Dating in your twenties

Dating in your twenties

by L ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Ok, so I have not written much recently as I have been seriously lacking inspiration and time, to be quite honest. Yet, here I am finding inspiration writing about something I am actually not very good at…. at all, but here we go anyway. What a rollercoaster we go on in my posts ‘ey!

Now, let me give you a little disclaimer here, I am not an avid dater AT ALL. I hate the things, I will decline dates because I hate the whole process (although trying to not do that as much now or I will end up alone forever). Maybe a tad on the dramatic side but in the words of our nations hero Pamelarrrrr:

Jeeeeeez, dating in general is hard work but in your twenties it seems like an actual game of snog, marry, avoid. You are sat there awkwardly over a drink in the standard ‘date drinks’ location asking mundane questions that you are not overly fussed about knowing the answer to, when all you want to ask are the hard hitting questions like; what do you think about the decline in our Earths habitats or yano, what star sign are you so I can go home and google if we are going to get married or not.

But hang on, I have skipped a big step here. Actually getting to the date, woah that is a biggie.

We live in such an amazing technological world now, so amazing that people don’t often seem to meet in person now but online. I remember when I first set my tinder account up, I was amazed, felt like I had my very own personal Argos catalogue of men that I could just swipe yes or no to?! GR8 – Will have a boyf in no time I thought……oh how wrong I was.

Now perhaps I have a faulty version of the app or I have terrible taste in men (probably the latter) but I have not found tinder a hot spot for meeting guys. Like you match with someone and you are like YAS stage 1 complete, they send you a message, WOO stage 2 complete, they send you the dreaded ‘so what are you on here for lol’ message. DAMN Stage 3 error. Now in my experience I will say something like ‘just here to meet new people’ (mainly because it is a lonely Sunday afternoon and I am not really sure why I am here on tinder) and that is when you get the age old response of…… Yeah same, here to meet nice people and have some fun (insert ambiguous sexting emoji). Yep, stage 3 has an error. This will then cause me to text all my pals and say ‘It’s happened again, I am deleting the app forever, I want to meet someone organically’ they nod along knowing I will re-download it in approx 2 days after sitting in a coffee shop awaiting Mr Right to walk through the door and fall in love with me. Then the process starts again.

So anyway, most of the people I have gone on dates with I have met organically, it is much nicer, far less pressure and concern of them thinking you are not as attractive as your very finely picked, shit hot tinder pics. The dates I have been on in my time have been… ok, I mean I am still single so they haven’t been great. My biggest problem, I turn all alpha male with my banter, start insulting them, am cold and just generally awkward. Cute and flirtatious I know, how am I single?

But dating is scary as shit for me. I have pals who go out on dates on the regs are so cool about it, they love it, meeting new people, learning about them and that’s that. I however, go a bit weird let my anxiety take over and will solidly panic for like 3 days before wondering if they will be super cool and fun or someone who has no similar interests and we will sit silently for the duration. When in fact I should just calm the fuck down and just go and enjoy myself and not worry about silly little things like; awkward hugs, going to sit down on the same chair and me sitting on him accidentally, resulting in me having to move to the other side of the world to avoid embarrassment, or something like him turning out to be like Joe from You and me having to fake my own death to avoid his avid stalking… yano casual stuff.

Dating in your twenties however, is fun and a great way to meet new people and learn about yourself and what you want in a future partner. Even though I am a disaster dater with my awkwardness, I am glad I have gone on the dates I have. I feel like I come out learning something about myself every time. As time goes on I am sure I will let my little aggressive barrier down and be a less heightened ‘banter fuelled’ person and be more successful but for now I am happy with what I have learnt from dating.

My new motto is to just go and enjoy dating, I am in my twenties, this is a great time to date and figure out what you want and enjoy yourself while doing it.

But also, if your not going on dates that is cool to – a gr8 person to date is yourself. Treat yourself, be kind to yourself, love yourself.

There was SO much more I could have written on this topic but I did not want to write a novel. Perhaps I will write a dating in your twenties part 2 another time. So for now does anybody have any dating disasters or success stories they want to share?

Read my other ‘dating’ related posts by following the links below:
Being Ghosted: https://lifeofa20somethingyearold.home.blog/2019/09/15/being-ghosted/
Being single in your twenties:
https://lifeofa20somethingyearold.home.blog/2019/07/26/being-single-in-your-twenties/

L x

Self-care

Self-care

by L ♥ 2 Comments

Phwoar, I don’t know about you but I feel like being in your twenties is stress central. Like excuse me, where is my open return back to care free childhood plz?

Now plz appreciate I am writing this as a mid twenty something year old – if you are older or younger then some of these may not apply – but here we go.

Work seems to be manic and tiring and just well… stressful. You also always seem to be in a weird sort of second guessing stage of being like hmmm… Is this what I REALLY want to be doing with my life? Even if this is the job you had dreamed of your brain seems to do that crazy little thing of going ‘buuuuuuuut what if I changed my mind and want to now do a job which is the polar opposite to this one, that I have 0 qualifications for?’ Super fun when it does that.

Alongside that your social life is hectic and you are in the middle of do I go and party the night away or do I sleep non stop for a solid 2 days? (I normally go for the party, normally regret it when I am dry-mouthed, anxiety ridden and 10x more tired than before.) But YOLO, right?…

Single people are stressed about finding a partner, taken people are stressed about if their partner is ‘the one’ or if they are just settling.

You also have this constant looming anxiety of soooooo when does a million pound drop out of the sky so I can buy a house, get 10 dogs, own my own car, pay off my debt, blah, blah, the list goes on.

And just Brexit…
(You can’t be an english person without throwing a brexit comment/joke into the mix.)

STRESS, STRESS, STRESS.
With a cheeky bit (lot) of word vomit thrown onto your screens there. If you were not stressed before, I fear I might have just made you a little. Soz.

ANYWAY onto the good stuff. Self-care ahhhh.

Self-care is so important, I cannot say it enough. With all the stresses we all face everyday it is so important to take some time for ourselves and really touch base and look after ourselves. We deserve it after all…

I know when I have had a really tough time I take time to just relax and do things that make me feel happy and calm. So below are my top self-care go to’s:

  • A long bubble bath with candles and chilled music
  • A face mask (I love to do this one when I am meant to do something important because it makes me feel like I am procrastinating in a ‘positive self-care’ way.)
  • Go for a walk
  • Listen to my favourite album
  • Blog
  • Go to the gym
  • Put all my fairy lights, candles and salt lamps on and meditate
  • Journal – to help me process my feelings and thoughts
  • Sing

These things really do help me feel more relaxed and zone back in with myself. I also read a lovely quote the other day which stated how you must treat yourself how you treat your friends, with kindness and patience. This is so key, yes being a twenty-something is stressful, I think just being a person is a bit stressful at times but ensuring you look after yourself is the key to feeling calmer and happier. Remember to slow down and do things that make you happy. Your mind and body will thank you for it!

What self-care strategies do you use? x

Body shaming

Body shaming

by L ♥ 14 Comments

First ghosting now body shaming, it seems my blog is really tackling some joyful subjects! On the ghosting note thank you SO much for all the wicked engagement with the post, I was overwhelmed by how many of you reached out to talk about it with me!

Ok, so I felt inspired to discuss this matter after listening to quite a few podcasts discussing it recently. It made me think about my own experiences of body shaming and how it had affected me.

Bit of a background on myself with this, as it is a topic really personal to me and I have written and deleted this post SO many times. Anyway, at the ripe old age of 12 I discovered a deep love of eating not even food but eating, I LOVED it and ate ALOT. I became very chubby, often I would be called ‘fat’ by the mean girls. I began to see that as my identity, a part of me. I did not take it like some amazing people do, I did not own it. Everytime it was said to me I wanted to crawl into a ball and just disappear, everytime I felt absolutely disgusted by myself – not the people saying it (who now I see are the disgusting ones) but no, I saw me as the gross one. I was called fat even when I was not that fat! But that happened from 12 until 22. I know it was this amount of time because I used to remember it was always said at least once every. single. year. Everytime I would feel happy or confident, my mind would take me back to ‘you’re fat’ and the confidence would drain out of me. Deep stuff.

Now I turned to my Bff in these times (food obvs – cheese and bean pasties to be particular) so naturally then it became a vicious cycle. I also entered an extremely manipulative relationship and I ended up putting 3 stone on and the fat shaming came in thick and fast from strangers all around. The key there being strangers, these people never knew me. I remember so vividly once my pal trying to wingman me and the boy turning around WHILE I AM THERE and going ‘nah she’s fat’. I remember thinking…how can someone be so cruel?

These comments left such an imprint on me, I remember everywhere I went I thought people were staring, judging my weight, it made my confidence so low. It took such a toll on my mental health. Now, I still think about those comments but I do not view them as a part of my identity anymore but more as motivation to not let myself slip into the trap of believing them.

I ended up losing 3 stone after my break up and felt healthy and happy for the first time in a while. It was a monumental time for me because for the ages 23 and 24 I was not called FAT! Amazing. 11/10, an award goes out to all the dickheads that body shame…not. But for me this was HUGE I finally felt ‘normal’ how mad is that.

Ironically on my 25th bday I was drunk in Cornwall eating a subway living my best life and BAM a random man on a wall yells out to a taxi ‘DON’T RUN OVER THE FATTY’. What a caring man trying to save me from a taxi, shame he mispronounced ‘fitty as fatty’. Jokes aside, my world came crashing down (soz to be dramatic it’s that degree creeping in again) I threw my (delicious) vegan sub to the floor in upset thinking don’t need this food then obv I am back to fat L. Which obv is not the case, I have worked hard to feel good in my skin, I am not there yet but I am able to brush those comments off easier now.

Now lyf story over, thanks for sitting through that.

Get ready for sassy L again ppl…
The moral of this whole post. Body shaming is NOT ok, anyone affected by this knows how detrimental it can be to somebody’s confidence, mental health and well being. It is a disgusting thing, absolutely inexcusable. What gives somebody the right to comment ANYTHING negative about somebody elses looks? It is the lowest of the low. It also says so much more about that person than it does about us. People like that are just wrong ‘uns and what gives me piece of mind is that karma is a bitch, if you are (sassy, pouty click of the fingers with a uhhhuuuuhhhh). People need to understand that these off the cuff comments about peoples bodies stay with them for years. I still lay there at night sometimes replaying comments, believing those comments. It is so sad and I really don’t think people understand the severity of the subject. Body shaming can cause so many health issues. It is vile and never ever ok. We live in a social media world where people do it constantly. We live in a world where people want to constantly change their bodies with filters or surgery because somebody has shamed them for being who they are. Often people see body shaming as people being fat shamed but that is just not the case. People are body shamed for being too thin, fat, tall, small, the list is actually endless.

So here is my message to all those who have been body shamed:
Do not let those idiots bring you down or dull your sparkle. Those peoples comments mean nothing. They will mean everything for a while but that will soon fade and what once knocked you down will empower you. Your body is yours, do what you bloody like with it, if you want to eat 5 bean and cheese pasties because its a Monday DO IT! (Talking from personal experience though 5 might tip you over the edge and make you a feel a lil ill). Anyway back to the empowering stuff; Be proud of who you are, you are you and that is something to be proud of. Bellends will always be there to try and knock you down but shrug their comments off with pride (they hate that!) and carry on with your day. Your body is amazing and is with you through all the good and bad times, appreciate that bod of yours! Quite simply guys: You are unique. You are beautiful. And most importantly You are You. Rock it, slayyyyyy sistaaaa/bruvvvaaaa.

I also am not claiming to be a guru here and deffo need to read that paragraph at times when I think about body shaming comments but the fact is we are all here fighting the body shamers as ledge heads together.

You have got this, I promise.

L x

Being ghosted

Being ghosted

by L ♥ 27 Comments

Ahhh delightful subject. I never really was a fan of Casper the friendly ghost and I am not too keen on (insert name of choice) the unfriendly ghoster either. Now this is not specific to being a twenty something year old. We have all experienced being ghosted at some stage of our lives. If you haven’t then tell me your secret plz.

Ghosting (def): the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.

Ok, so I am not sure when ghosting became a ‘thing’ but it seems to happen more and more now days. Perhaps because it is so easy to do with all these dating apps and social media. You can quite simply just disappear now with no explanation.

I think ghosting can only be considered ghosting if you have met the person, or have/had a bond with said person. Someone not replying to your witty tinder one liner does not quite count as ghosting. Even if it is a dent to the comedian inside of your ego.

It is one of the worst feelings, I have been ghosted a few times and it hurts in a different kind of way. It leaves you questioning EVERYTHING. Asking yourself so many questions. Why did they do that? Was it something I did? Was I just not good enough? Did I mean that little to them? So many things fly through your mind. I want to touch upon the ‘did I mean that little to them’ one. As this is one that I always think about. To not even be given an explanation as to why they want to stop talking or end things is so belittling. It makes you think omg why have I put so much energy into this person, who cannot even be bothered to let me know things are done and tell me why.

But heres the reality and here is a pre warning: I am about to get a lil sassy...

These ‘ghosts’ are just cowards, they do not have the courage to give a simple explanation as to why they want to call things off. They decide that it is far easier to just disappear, not even giving second thought to your feelings. Extremely cowardly and selfish behaviour. Let’s be real, would we want someone with those traits in our lives anyway? HELL NO!

Enough about them and more about us. We must accept that it happened, we live and we learn (then write a blog post about it). It is easy to sit and think ‘what did I do wrong’ but let’s get real. It is nothing to do with us and all to do with the other person (unless of course you ran their dog over or something then I guess you kinda deserve the ghosting). But the key here is to just think it is a lucky escape and you will find someone SO much better than that. You are a sassy, strong person who has no time for this kind of stuff.

Sometimes we have to just give ourselves closure when the other person fails to do so. It is tough but it happens, take some time to yourself and just remember YOU are worth more and it was probably nothing you did. Best thing to do is just avoid avidly insta stalking, delete all messsages from them and good god if they slither back into your DM’s then IGNORE. (Unless of course they have a fab excuse for ghosting.)

Fab excuses:

  • They were busy ending world hunger
  • They were clearing ALL the plastic from the ocean
  • They were out feeding all the stray dogs and cats
  • They were lost on a desert island with no phone (still could send a message in a bottle though)

Yano something along those lines…

Better people are coming, be patient my friends.

L x

The types of friends you have in your twenties

The types of friends you have in your twenties

by L ♥ 1 Comment

Friends are so important in your twenties, they are in all ages but especially in your twenties. You are all getting sea sick in the same rocky boat we call life! You are all trying to navigate to that lovely island called ‘I am smashing adulthood’. But you get pretty lost along the way but it is ok because you have your pals with you to help out, you are all in the same metaphoric boat after all. You come across a lot of pals in your 20’s that all play important parts in these testing but horrendously fun and messy years. So here is a list of the type of friends you meet in your twenties:

  • The party friend: This friend is great to have around in your twenties and always matches your wild dance moves and desire to down multiple shots when you really don’t need anymore. This person is down for deep and meaningful chats in the smoking area about the boys you fancied 10 years ago then once you have finished your pointless rant will drag you back to the dancefloor to dance to come on Eileen. These are the friends that can turn a bad day into a fantastic, new, spontaneous memory within hours! They are absolutely vital and are the most fun ever. Nobody ever knows what mischief might occur with this friend. Did someone say spoons?
  • The MUM friend: This friend is not actually a mum but might as well be your adopted social mum. They are your go to for advice on life and always seem to know the right thing to say. They are also in their twenties but have a magical power of having their shit together?! They always know the right thing to do and are always there at your beckon call to help you decide massive things such as; What colour to paint your nails?! They also are great to have on a night out: they keep everyone together, ensure all drunken disputes are solved, makes sure everyone has their ID, card and dignity in tact in the taxi back. Guardian angels are these friends, absolute gals.
  • The go-months-without-seeing-but-are-still-close-as-ever friend: Now this pal is a special kind of pal. I like to call these friendships ‘grown up’ as we get we’re both busy independent working ladies that have no time to constantly text. So therefore months will go by without a word from either end until one day you get a random meme or old photo from each other and BAM the catch up commences. The catch up never acknowledges how long it has been since the last conversation though, GOOD GOD NO, that would be absurd. You just enjoy the fact that nothing has changed and you still have such a lovely friendship with this person. It also makes the catch ups amazing and FULL of tea as it’s months worth of life goss!
  • The work friend: This one is a good egg. You see them everyday at both your fave places… work! (Detect the sarcasm.) Now this friend, man this friend is the one that you can sit with and moan for hours, except you never have that long as lunch breaks only seem to last 5 seconds before you must go back. This person you don’t see socially nearly as much as your other friends. But in those short times at work that you do see each other you seem to; exchange vital gossip, share your deepest secrets, catch up, discuss the thought process behind your lunch and solve all of lifes qualms together. And of course they are someone who can relate to all your work related dramz and stresses.
  • The Social Media friend: This is an easy one, these are people that you do not actually speak to in person but have an unspoken rule of being loyal likers on each others posts. These people are likely to be friends of friends, drunken besties made in the toilets years ago or just random people. Either way you will never be going for coffee with them but appreciate their loyalty to your social media.
  • The adult friend: This one may sound like the MUM friend but they are very different. The adult friend is the one with their shit together for real, they may be older or the same age. But these people have their own houses, some have children and some are married. Pretty grown up stuff, you like to look at their life in awe of how they have their stuff together. You enjoy sophisticated evenings with them discussing real life issues while eating cheese and olives feeling a little like an imposter. You feel dare I say… ‘grown up’ around them. They give you a bit of a reality check. They are amazing friends to you though and help guide you and always have amazing advice. These ones are golden.
  • The questionable-life-choices friend: This one, ahhh this one gives you stress. You love them for their crazy decisions and you can always count on them for some serious tea to be spilt in catch ups. But, they give you anxiety over their choices sometimes. However, they are also pretty good for making you feel a bit better about your own poor decisions because they have either done it before OR have done something way worse. You want to wrap this one in bubble wrap but alas instead you must just give them advice and hope they take it. Now these friends are amazing to confide in as it is always a non judgment zone and they can often relate to your own choices and know just how to cheer you up. They are worth the stress!
  • The Rock friend: Now I don’t mean the Rock as in Dwayne the Rock Johnson, although I wish he was a pal you meet in your twenties. No, this person/people they are true golden eggs, the best of the best. These are the ones that are there for you always, they have your back and are loyal to you no matter what. They are the kind of friend that you can just be in a room with on a bad day not talking and feel better for just being in their company. They have been by your side through some of the hardest times in your life. You take comfort in knowing that this/these friends will be there to help you fight whatever comes your way. The rock friend makes you feel like you are never alone and never have to face anything alone. I could go on and on but these ones, these are the best ones.

So which friend are you? Tag your friends and see if you guess the same!
Twitter: 20something_l
Instagram: 20_something1

Quarter life crisis time

Quarter life crisis time

by L ♥ 1 Comment

Ahhhh here I am the night before my 25th birthday. I am currently looking down at my bitten down nails (kind of annoyed as I had been growing them out but anyway I am setting a scene) thinking that habit needs to stop. I cannot help be filled with a little dread and anxiety at officially being ‘mid-twenties’. This now means my 5 year plan takes me to 30?!?!!!

Quarter-Life Crisis (def): a crisis that may be experienced in one’s twenties, involving anxiety over the direction and quality of one’s life

I am someone who since I was about 4 has had my life planned out, like every inch of it. Maybe thats why I am still single, my future husband aka that handsome stickman with spiky hair and a flame shirt I drew when I was 9 just does not seem realistic… We all know life never goes to plan though and my plans have often changed but have always followed roughly the same sort of story line (I am an ex drama student it is all about the drama).

For the first time in my life I have no idea what I want to do next. I am someone that constantly seeks change and excitement and adventure. So I feel like I have to cram all that into the next 5 years.

Christmas 2017 changed my plans a little when I volunteered in a nursing home and I met a man, he was 91 years old and he sat and told me his whole life story and I loved it. He had the most amazing stories from such an amazing life and it triggered something in me to make sure my story was as good! Boxing day I booked a solo trip to Bali for a month to volunteer in a school and work with the rehabilitation of turtles. (Summer of a lifetime btw.)

It gave me the travelling bug for sure but I do feel I would like to travel more when I am little older as my career is a focus at the moment.

But anyway in this time I have spent the evening reflecting on the past 25 years and if little L would be proud of L now. If I am honest I think she would, maybe not some decisions but most yes! I live a good life and am surrounded by the most amazing people. I work hard in a good job and have an amazing social life.

Not only that but in the past 4 years I have fought my way out of a deep depression hole, lost 3 and a half stone, became more confident, secured a wicked job, have made amazing memories and have been unapologetically myself.

Do I still think I am ‘finding myself’? Yes a little sometimes a lot but as time goes on I am really proud of the woman I am becoming. 25 is a scary age but one where I feel a new chapter of life is about to begin.

I also love odd numbers so prefer to be an odd number age – don’t know why.

Reflective ramble over – Happy Bday 2 me xox

L x

The pressures of social media

The pressures of social media

by L ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

So being a twenty something I thought ahhh my care for social media will pass in due course. Long story short – it. did. not. I feel like I am more obsessed with social media than I ever have been before. I thought Bebo would be the height of social media then instagram came along…

I will set the scene for you – walk into a beautifully designed London floral cafe, you look around and see everyone posing, snapping pics of themselves or the surroundings. You can’t even judge them because you know you are about to whack huji out to get that perfect ‘candid’ shot of you laughing of to one side having the ‘best time ever’. When in reality you are out of breath from sucking in so hard, your face hurts from the fake smile and you feel a little embarrassed about any onlookers witnessing the ‘behind the scenes’ of your gram.

It is a fikkle game social media, it gives you a weird high when you get a load of likes and weird low when your photo bombs. Like why do we still care about this online acceptance of our lives? I hate that we care so much – that I care so much, it can become quite draining.

I feel for twenty something year olds instagram can be really disheartening, as we are seeing people our age or younger getting beautiful houses, getting engaged, going on amazing holidays, sharing their INSANE bodies and just in general showing off how great life is. We are at an age of uncertainty of where we are going in life, a false sense of security a lot of the time and when we log into our gram we see other twenty somethings who seem to have their lives in order.

I am guilty as sin for caring too much about my social media presence. One of my first thoughts when I have an event is hmm what am I going to wear, can’t wear something I have already worn on the gram. How mad is that?! Like c’mon L get a grip. I feel so much pressure if I am in a cool place to get a picture of myself looking like a #model. And if I do not get the shot I actually feel so rubbish about it. Again WTF? When did I allow my life to revolve around an app.

I know friends who have deleted the gram for a few weeks to help their mental health or self esteem. How crazy that we are having to delete something to help our own mental health because the pressure of an app is too much. It makes me very sad and so, so sad to think those in generations after us will have this take over their lives from such a young age. At least we all had our childhoods of playing out these children now days do not have that, they are eaten up by the pressures to look good and have nice things all the time.

It is a mad world we live in. But what is important is to remember that social media is not real life. People don’t post those photos of them laying on the sofa, ice cream around their mouth, mascara running because they had a break up or argument with their perfect insta husband. Maybe that’s what the gram needs, a bit more honesty? I can be the first to say I probz would not be uploading any ugly pics anytime soon. Vicky Pattison is great for keeping it real on the gram, love her hungover pics!

But anyway moral of the blog, people only post the life they want you to see. Those down days, those ugly breaking out days, those I haven’t got dressed and smell today pics happen in real life they just arn’t shown. Try to not compare yourself too much and try to remember life is there to be enjoyed, not instagrammed. I also am not claiming to be a guru here and I myself need to follow those morals also so yano this is a pep talk for us all.

Also, I do love instagram and seeing pictures of everybody’s lives, it is a great way to keep in contact with people also. I just wish I/we did not feel the pressures so much. Obv I know other platforms of social media are tough too but I feel instagram is the one that gets people the most.

Have a lovely week all!

L x